Hard to Say
by Seylin
Summary: Drabble. It was the thing he never wanted to say... Slash. Mpreg.


**Title:** Hard to Say  
><strong>Couple:<strong> Jaspeth  
><strong>Prompt:<strong> #18: photograph  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> 700  
><strong>Note<strong>: Written for twislash_100. It got to long _again_.

* * *

><p>Twenty-two years. Twenty-two <em>achingly<em> slow years. That was how long Jasper had waited to return to this house. He didn't know why he had waited twenty-two years, it wasn't as big a number as say a twentieth or twenty-fifth anniversary. He kept telling himself that but the truth was he knew why it was two and not zero or five at the end of that twenty.

Seth had died when he was twenty-two.

Jasper's eyes burned as he stared at the house and he nearly returned to his car. In fact, the only reason he didn't was the cold hand slipping into his own. Jasper glanced to his side and Alice gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. She was right, he needed to do this.

"C'mon," Alice murmured. "It's time."

He nodded and slowly led her threw the snow that hadn't been cleared away. His key slipped into the lock easily and the bolt turned over smoothly. Opening the door he was hit with a wall of warm arm. He had never had the heat turned off. Jasper took in a deep breath and felt a bit of his tension melt away. Even after all these years he could still smell Seth on the air.

Without a word Jasper dropped Alice's hand and walked toward the bedroom he had shared with Seth. He didn't spare a glance at the living room; he knew the same newspaper clippings lay on the coffee table. He knew they had yellowed with age.

**xxx**

Alice stayed in the living room after Jasper had closed the door to the bedroom. A small smile tugged that her lips as she looked around. Even now, after so long, she could still feel Seth in this house. He had picked everything out, made it home. The weak winter light streamed through the kitchen window, catching dust particles in the air, making them sparkle.

Her eyes went to the door just off of the kitchen. Part of her was pulled toward it but a bigger part told her no, she couldn't go into that room yet. She couldn't bear to see the crib, the colors, the clothes, and the teddy bear she knew was lying on the floor.

**xxx**

Jasper stood frozen as he looked around the bedroom he had shared with Seth for six years. His eyes closed in pain as he thought about how short those years had been compared to how long he had been mourning Seth's death. His feet moved before his mind noticed, taking him to the closet.

Opening the doors he reached up and pulled a box from the top shelf down. The dust shifted under his thumbs as he gripped the box. He could barely read the piece of tape across the top. _Photographs_. Turning back around he went to the bed and sat. He took a deep, unneeded, breath before he opened the box.

**xxx**

Alice moved to the couch and sat on the edge. She stared at the yellowed newspaper clippings. Slowly she reached out and touched one, the paper feeling stiff under her fingers. Gently she picked the clipping on the left up.

**La Push Man and Child Killed in Car Accident**

Alice didn't need to read the article; she already had it memorized, so she moved onto the next.

**Faulty Brakes to Blame for Accident That Claims Two Lives**

**In Memory of Seth and Luka Whitlock**

The third article was text wrapped around a picture in the middle of the page. In the picture Seth was grinning broadly, his happiness clear. Luka was held securely in his arms, a toothless grin plastered on his own face.

Alice trailed her finger over their faces. "Seth… Luka…" She whispered.

**xxx**

Jasper sat on the bed staring at the glossy photograph of Seth and Luka from twenty-two years ago. It was the same photograph Alice was staring at on the newspaper clipping. The last one that had ever been taken of them. The one _he_ had taken.

Jasper dropped the photograph so he wouldn't rip or wrinkle it in his grief. He wrapped his arms around himself as he heaved tearless sobs. "You left me…" He whispered. "You and Luka both…"


End file.
